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Hired
Season 1, Episode 1
Hired
Air date June 19, 2005
Written by Matt Maiellaro
Directed by Matt Maiellaro
Episode guide
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Original pilot
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Signals

Hired is the first episode of 12 oz. Mouse and the first overall. It first aired on June 19, 2005.

Plot:[]

After crashing his yellow jet, Mouse Fitzgerald heads over to an office to get hired for a job by Shark, which requires him to transport a Rectangular Businessman over to Cheese Industries for a very important meeting. Fitz meets up with the Rectangular Businessman at an airport to take him to Cheese Industries, but Fitz instead takes him to a Motel for a porno set before blowing up the building with a bomb, which kills the Businessman in the process. After robbing the Rectangular Businessman's Bank, Fitz and his best friend Skillet buy large amounts of alcohol from Rhoda's Bar and cause mayhem all over the town such as Fitz attempting to make out with a woman who transforms into a man, encountering a stoned cop (who laughs at a screeching Skillet with him), getting a drink from Liquor's store, and being hit and ran over on the streets by cars. After getting struck by a meteor, from the sky, and being offered for a job from a movie producer, Fitz returns to Shark, who reviews his failed assignment. After discovering that Shark is bulletproof (by shooting him) Fitz decides to take the next job from Shark. He meets up with the job's cilent, the Eye, who introduces himself to him.

Characters/Cast:[]

Notes/Trivia:[]

  • This episode is rated TV-14-DLV.
  • When this episode first aired, only the letters "oz.MO" were shown in the opening title sequence. This was later changed to the regular 12 oz. Mouse title screen in subsequent airings of this episode due to legal issues (to avoid a potential lawsuit) since "Ozmo" is actually the name of an educational cartoon character that was produced by the BBC.
    • According to an interview on the website Corndog Central, the series' creator Matt Maiellaro originally wanted the title graphic for 12 oz. Mouse to be bigger.
  • This pilot episode originally aired as a special presentation in the Summer of 2005.
  • Shark's design is the same rotoscoped shark image used in the Space Ghost Coast to Coast episode "Kentucky Nightmare" and the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode "Escape From Leprechaupolis."
  • Fitz's porno is referenced in the lyrics of the show's intro.
  • When Fitz and Skillet crash to Liquor's store, a burning Human Citizen can be seen flying through the air.
  • After the credits, there is a sentence that reads "Mouse plays cool guitars through loud noisy amps in his basement." Black Beast appears afterwards.

Errors/Goofs:[]

  • Skillet stole only one bag of money when he was robbing the Bank with Fitz. However, this particular money bag isn't seen in the Jet-car in Rhoda's Bar. Despite only one money bag being stolen, four bags of money can be found inside the Jet-Car when Peanut Cop asks about the stolen money.
  • At the end of Peanut Cop's second line of dialogue, faint laughter can be heard in the background, presumably coming from one of the other crew members on the show.
  • When Fitz is hit by a car, he says "Oh, my God", but the Man-Woman's voice can be heard instead of his.

Gallery[]

Videos[]

Quotes[]

  • Shark: Can I help you?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Can I help you?
  • Shark: What do you do?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: I do it all.
  • Shark: Have a seat.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: I will, because that’s something I can do.
  • Shark: Do something. Do something.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: I am. I did.
  • Shark: What do you do?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: It’s already done.
  • Shark: What do you do?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: I helped you.
  • Shark: Are you drunk?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Not drunk enough. Can I help you?
  • Shark: Yes, you can. Got a job for you.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Okay! I'm hired.
  • Shark: Businessman, coming in today. Very important.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Whoa. A real businessman? No way.
  • Shark: He’s rectangle-y. That’s how you’ll know him. By his rectangular-ness.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: No way.
  • Shark: Drive him to Cheese Industries. You don’t even know where that is. That’s why picked you. Because everybody else knows.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Right now?
  • Shark: Mm-hmm.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Oh, look what I found. I got to do this first. Ahhh.
  • Shark: Okay. That works. How about now?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Yes, how about now?
  • Shark: Yeah. Now’s good. Before would’ve been better, but before’s over.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: What do you want?
  • Rectangular Businessman: I have an appointment at Cheese Industries.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: So?
  • Rectangular Businessman: I'd like to hire you to drive me there.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: No talking. Pay.
  • Rectangular Businessman: How much in the world is it?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Get in.
  • Rectangular Businessman: God, is the heat on in here?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: It should be. You like porno?
  • Rectangular Businessman: Well, uh...
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Look at this.
  • Rectangular Businessman: Um, I don't have any eyes.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Oh, man. Sucks for you. Hey, you should feel around back there and grab me a beer.
  • Rectangular Businessman: But you're driving.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Was driving. Sitting back here with you now.
  • Rectangular Businessman: Are we here? Because I have an important business meeting.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Yeah, we're here. Hey, let me help you inside.
  • Rectangular Businessman: Wait a second. Is this Cheese Industries?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: It's about to be. You should take off your shirt.
  • Rectangular Businessman: What?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Just lie down on the bed. Okay, and roll camera. And action. Action. Come on. Get on now.
  • Rectangular Businessman: Although this is a comfortable bed.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Kiss it.
  • Rectangular Businessman: I don't think this is Cheese Industries.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Kiss it. Squeeze it. Skillet, come on, let's go. We'll be right back.
  • Rectangular Businessman: Wait. Wait, guys. Hang on.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: My head. That guy was such a dork. We should rob that bank. All right. All right. Hey, Rhoda, let me get, uh...12 beers.
  • Rhoda: What are you celebrating here? Your outstanding gayness?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Nope. Our bank robbery.
  • Rhoda: You robbed a bank?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Hell, yeah.
  • Rhoda: You boys are wild.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Yes, we are.
  • Rhoda: I mean, you boys are like wild, wild, you know what I mean?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: That's right.
  • Rhoda: I mean, completely wild, wildness, wildy, And I salute you.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Yes, sir. Like, whoa. Look it down there. Me-ouse Me-ouse.
  • Man-Woman: Eew!
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Ow.
  • Man-Woman: What are you doing?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Making out on you. It's what you wanted. I mean, come on. Look how you're dressed.
  • Man-Woman: You're such a dick. Eew! Get away.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Aw, come on, baby.
  • Man-Woman: Man power, go.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Don't be that way. Wait a minute. They're playing my song. I love little pussy. Her coat is so warm. And if I--
  • Peanut Cop: You boys, uh, hear anything, bank robbery, about it?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Ye--yep.
  • Peanut Cop: Um, is that your stolen jet outside with all those bags of money in the back seat? Dude?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Well, does it have bullet holes in it?
  • Peanut Cop: Um, no.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Then it's not mine, is it?
  • Peanut Cop: Oh, wait a second. Those are expensive beers. You must have pretty good jobs to pay for those kind of beers.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Excuse me, but that bartender just called you a homo.
  • Peanut Cop: Oh.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Skillet, we just spent $64, 000 in that bar, so we're going to have to get jobs to cover up the fact that we rob banks. But first I need to get a drink.
  • Liquor: Eh, Fitz, the usual?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Yep.
  • Liquor: That'll be...Let's see...$300?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Tell you what.
  • Liquor: Perfect.
  • Man-Woman: Watch out. Oh, My God. Watch out. Watch, watch, watch! Watch it! Oh, My God. Is he dead?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: No, I'm just drunk.
  • Man-Woman: Watch out!
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Oh, My God! It's cool, everybody, I'm just drunk. See? It's okay? It's all cool, man. It's just--What? What? What are you looking--What are you looking at? What's that? Is that a meteor? That's a cool meteor.
  • Producer Man: Hey, kid. You are really something. You'd be great in pictures.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: I would?
  • Producer Man: Yeah, you would. Ho-ho! Up top.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: I'm too drunk.
  • Producer Man: Perfect. Let me buy you a drink, because you are hired, sir. Ha-ha!
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Well, see, first I need to check with my boss, because he's a Shark. What's it like to be a Shark?
  • Shark: Ow.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Nice. You need some help?
  • Shark: Wait. I'll do it. So let me get this straight.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Okay. Please.
  • Shark: I sent you out to pick up a client and take him to a meeting.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Yes. Yes, sir.
  • Shark: Instead of that, you took him to a porno set, where he started in his very first porno. Then you blew him up.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Wrong. That didn't happen.
  • Shark: Then you robbed a bank.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Robbed a bank?
  • Shark: Threw up on a woman.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: What?
  • Shark: And sang to the police.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: That didn't happen. I didn't do that.
  • Shark: Huh. So what did you do?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: I did exactly what I wanted to do.
  • Shark: Which was what again?
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: All things. A-L-L.
  • Shark: Hey, you know what they say? That I'm going to give you one more chance. They always say that.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Oh, yeah, I think I'll give you one more chance.
  • Shark: Bulletproof.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: Hmm. Then I guess I'll take the job. What is the job?
  • Eye: I live in on an I land in I-owa... Or Wy-oming.
  • Mouse Fitzgerald: No. You can't do that?

External Links[]

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